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so yeah... im back i guess? i haven't improved much as you can probably tell...life is... life i guess... shits just goin i suppose got a decent job...back in school all out of pocket..... im still drawing... and with any luck i can get some kind of job at it once college is over... but even if i cant im gunna keep scrawling my thoughts to dead trees and pixels until i fade away into my base particles
long story short im gunna art... and if you want to watch me do so here is another place to entertain yourself
hoooooly shiiiiiiit, two years since one of these things.... i guess i suppose i dont update much as i dont have much of an online following and the only thing i contribute is the daft paintings of an anti-social pessemist
however it is with sheer boredom that i type this out
i will continue to upload my paintings with some miniscule semblence of frequency as im working full time and will be going to school in less than a week.... i promise nothing
however i am reguraly drawing on breaks at my shitty job so its more of a lack of motivation to finish anything
along with the freelance work im doing these days time is quite scarce
however if you are interested in my work.. would like to collaberate, or would like a comission, message me and i will get back to ye at my soonest behest
wow.....haven't written...er...typed... one of these in a while, it seems like alot of stuff has happened since my last post...
my bankruptcy has been paid for and finished
i have my own vehicle and it is quite nice a 1998 honda CRV
my job has gotten significantly less horrible now that i have moved up a bit...
im hopefully going to be on my way back up to michigan sometime here in october
my sister is getting married and im quite happy for her
i dunno i know iv been posting here every now and then but i cant quite seem to get the hang of things lately
everyone is going off to college and im sitting here with an bankruptcy on my file and im not going to get anywhere in my field without a degree
and while i can build credit i cant exactly take out a college loan with a bankruptcy on my name for 7 years.... just feels like im drawing in the wind i guess
i have so much stuff piled up in two sketchbooks from this summer alone and i can barley bring myself to finish anything... i just don't have the motivation for anything anymore
i know that im pretty much just drawing for myself at this point but when something is supposed to be helping you get somewhere in your life its hard to see the point with so many setbacks i guess
but in that im drawing for myself im learning to just kinda go with whatever im drawing i guess... going with the flow as it were....caring less about mistakes and overall composition and more about subject matter and message... im not sure if this is a good thing but i can always go back to what i know i suppose
anyway to whoever still reads my drivel
more arts to come
the glass is in fact neither half full nor half empty... it is in fact filled with air which is made up of particles which the glass is also made of....as well as the water... its all relative in the scope of the universe and the microverse....
philosophical and sciencey nonsense aside life has been odd as of late.... i got a job and mcdonalds which while a decent source of income in this backasswards economy that our fine politicians and subsequent banker overlords have wrought, it is a phenomenally depressing occupation.... not to mention a bit stressful... who knew feeding the fattest masses of america would be a shitty job right?
im working with some rather odd corporate commission jobs about some solvents or something or other...which is nice... decent one time pay for some rather easily designed sell sheets
but back to the glass i mentioned.... life right now seems alot like that glass.... i can see its half full because i have a place to live.. i have a job... and i have health...kinda.... but i can also see the glass half empty
im away from my friends... family(my dad excluding)... and everything i familiar with.....i am incredibly lonely...while thats nothing new to me at least when i was in michigan i could spend time with my friends and with my sister.. i am over 150.000$ in debt.....and my dreams are generally crushed..... and on the last front i can always see that the glass the water and the air is all basically pointless.... life if you look at it in a generally macroscopic perspective is inherently pointless....myself and everyone on this planet and even this planet itself is so laughably insignificant in the scope of the universe its almost comical
the thing is... or at least it seems to be that everyone else in my life.. and even those people i so randomly observe in my life...seem capable of handling all these facts on their minds constantly... or are generally able to either ignore these facts... or are ignorant of them...a feat i am envious of....
ALL of this.... is on my mind constantly....i am unable to shut my brain off and ignore these things...i am not capable...
my place in life right now is hard to pinpoint but i am certain i am lagging behind everyone else.... my sister is now engaged to her boyfriend....all my friends are in college...have cars... girlfriends...
and all i have is a mattress in a basement... and a shitty job at mcdonalds..... im thankful for what i have dont get me wrong.... but there has to be more to life than this.... there has to be more to life than
that is quite honestly all my life is...
the only good thing to come out of all this fuckery that is in my head is that i can usually regurgitate it onto paper and make some decent art....
silver linings i suppose
i guess this is a long winded way to say.... more arts to come
well....shit kinda got crazy.... and stuff happened.....
to make a reaaaalllyyy long story short my buddys GF broke up with him and i was left without a place to live, more absurd things happened and i am now in north canton ohio with my father
this is all very very strange to me still..... seeing as i haven't spoken more than an couple sentences with my dad for a while, even when he called or came up to visit me and my sister we never had much to talk about
my sister would do most of the talking as they have a much better relationship....
my dad doesn't understand me much, and he has no idea what i usually do on a daily basis and he seems to be kind of surprised that a large portion of my time is spent behind a tv or a computer.... ever more so now because yaknow.....no car/job.....also...ohio....and not being around any of my friends or other family really sucks, im trying to keep in contact but its not easy.... and i doubt any of my friends want to drive 3 hours to come visit....which leaves me quite depressed...like all the time... life is hopefully going to work out soon...or so i hope...
but hopefully i can get to know my dad a little better and he can learn alot more about me... and hopefully he is accepting of the fact that his son is super artistic nerdcase animetard.....doubtful...
in other news my buddy devins wedding was on the 10th and man was that ever fun, i got to party with all my friends before i left for ohio and stuff....there was karaoke and we all danced gangam style which was hilarious
and by far the best news of all is that i now have my old computer set up and running which means alot of arts to come
well guys.... life is changing quite alot for me as of recently..... i never thought i would be moving as many times as i have in the last 5 months.... but i can no longer live at the place i am because of legal stuff with the lease...and i dont want to fuck my friends over just by being here... long story short i have to be out by the end of the month....now i do have places to go but thats not entirely the issue, i can go stay with my dad down in canton ohio or i can stay with my buddy zach up here....and it has yet to be determined if i can stay with my friend amanda... while staying with my dad would be nice i have come to realize that my dad does not really know me on a personal level....he knows im his son and whotnot... but i think he would be a bit off-put by my preferences in movies music and just the general way i carry myself....which is not to say he would not approve or anything its just my dad wasn't around me a whole lot for my highschool days and he would kinda be meeting me for the first time.....only bad thing about living with him is that i would be miles away from all my friends
as for living in michigan i would still see my friends but...it would be harder for me to get a job up here... and a job is what i need
but iv got time to make a decision seeing as im staying up here until my friend devins wedding on nov 20th so... i guess il figure it out
on the plus side though wherever i end up i will be able to use my own computer again, so that means i will finally be able to color and post things again
also my buddy has offered me 300$ to paint a mural on a wall in his new house, so if anyone has any pointers to go about doing that correctly please let me know
oh and i saw helicopter showdown at the works in detroit last night.... was awesome!
arts to come soon guys
well iv got good news and bad news, first thing my mother has gone completely insane and is now in the psyche ward at our local hospital
while she dosent really want to be there she will be going to a home directly after the doctors approve her to leave
so she is on her way to what i assume will be a better life
myself on the other hand, have been dealt the worst hand possible
i now have to deal with the following
i have 125,000$ of debt
i have no car
i have no job
i am now living in a friends basement
i must get food stamps
any income i get will be garnished
any property i get will be seized (i.e car, house, etc)
suffice to say i cant really be posting any art at the moment
i will still check my DA regularly, but im going to be out of commission for at least a month if not two.....
2012-03-30 05:07:40 by TheN0mad
im pretty much here to just tell you guys im not dead as it would seem
i have been working on a number of pieces atm but as my mother has been getting worse by the day finishing these things seems a bit far off
although i should be able to get at least some work done this weekend, caring for my mother has taken up a large amount of my time
and sadly its become somewhat more stressful than id like it to be i can still find time to work every now and then, i suppose the main reason i haven't been putting things out
as fast as i used to is because i want each thing i draw/paint to be the best possible presentation of what it is, you wouldn't know it from looking
but im a bit of a self destructive perfectionist.... i basically work on something trying to get everything right for so long i just get fed up with it and say fuck it, then proceed to upload whatever it is i have at that point
naturally this is not exactly the best creative process in the world.....
still....when i can finish what i have in the works im sure you guys n gals will like them, see i have been trying to morph my style a little bit... i need to get away from the whole depressing motif all the time
and while those kind of images come easy to me....its what i can do well.... i wont grow as an artist unless i push myself to try new things...and while it is frustrating at times.... i can see the results and i am very pleased,
but as always i need a second opinion on things.... that's where you guys come in i suppose
So new not depressing art to come is what im trying to say.....
in other news my bankruptcy seems like its going to begin soon but i cant be sure....money is floating around right now i just have to snag it at the right time......i suppose having bad credit is better than no credit ya? lol
on a slightly related note i may need to find someplace to live soon...as there's talk of putting my mom up in a home... while nothing is confirmed yet i really need to work on a contingency plan...this is not something i can just let roll by and expect to work out fine.....
im still open to collaborations if anyone can make use of my skills
sad to hear about edd gould.....he was a great person and the world wont be the same without him...
anyway much love guys
hay everybody that still cares about what i do! how are you today!?
CHEERY YES? thats what i thought too....
well news as for right now is as follows
i have to file for bankruptcy and im still at a loss as to how to raise the money
there is a fuckload of other things related to that but long story short in order for my life to return to some semblance of normalcy i need about 4000$
but iv learned to not care so much whats happening in my life.... il still be alive no matter what happens so i guess im trying to make the best of it...
in other news i have a fuckload of artwork to finish but because of aforementioned nonsense its been difficult
good news is everyone seems to be enjoying the new happy approach im taking to my art so im gunna keep it up and see what comes of it
also im still interested in working with some newgrounds artists here, i want to be more involved in the NG community
as i have been coming here since i was but a lad but i never really connected?... i guess.... still if anyone can make use of my skills i will be more than happy to lend my pencil
Digging the redesign as well, more artsy
hello all who enjoy my arts, im glad you do and im very sorry for the wave of depressing emo bullshit i seem to be cranking out lately..... im going to be trying to move away from that stuff at east for a while, i need new inspiration and in turn i need new media....... my drawings are all getting awash with gray dark pallets and i feel like im not making good use of all the fucking PS pallets i spent hours making
im still open to any collaborations is anyone here on NG can make use of my skills if your interested please just drop me a note and il get in touch with you
to play you out heres the greatest man alive